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Inadequacy and Gratefulness As We Head Into the New Year


Come Monday

Come Monday (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Sometimes reading other writers’ blogs makes me feel inadequate. I see how much they get done; that they follow 50+ blogs, actively leaving messages, befriending folks, etc., while at the same time posting several times a week themselves, all the while working on a novel (or three), and perhaps working full-time and/or raising a family. It makes me feel like I’m not trying hard enough, am undisciplined, lazy…you see where I’m going. And then I vow to myself that I’m going to make a change. Come Monday, or in the morning, or the day after Christmas, or on New Year’s Day. But then morning somehow turns to noon, and Monday comes and we’re out of milk, gifts need returned the day after Christmas, and I prove to myself, once again, that it’s true: I’m undisciplined, lazy, and not trying hard enough.

It’s those times, and the times when a well-meaning friend asks, “So how’s it going with the books?” Meaning, “How are sales, are you making any money?” that I remind myself how very much I really have gotten done this year. It may not be as much as others out there in the blogosphere, but I think it’s a lot. So pardon me if what follows sounds a little self-congratulatory, but sometimes one needs to take stock, reflect on what they have achieved, before berating themselves and running off half-cocked into the new year with an armload of resolutions and goals without having been thoroughly and rightfully grateful for the opportunities and accomplishments of the old year.

And so you are my witnesses, before I write a long list of shoulds and wills and wishes and hopes, as to the distance I’ve traveled already on this new road. No, a Christmas miracle did not happen and my book did not become a bestseller, rolling in mounds of dough. But,

In 2012,

I started this blog and set up this website.

I published Seed Savers:Treasure in paperback and e-book.

I finished editing and published Seed Savers: Lily in paperback and e-book.

I got positive reviews on both books from people I didn’t even know.

I made new friends out in the bloggy world who I have never met in person.

I won a contest.

I did a guest post.

I did an interview.

I have a school visit in the works.

I know it doesn’t sound like a lot compared to things I’ve read about online, but folks, for me, this has been quite an accomplishment. Maybe I’ve said it before, but I literally used to walk into Best Buy and introduce myself to the first salesperson who asked if they could help, with, “Yes, I’m from the 1980s.” I left America in 1985 to live in China for three years and when I came back, the record sections in all the stores had disappeared. In the 90s I was busy raising a couple of children. By the time I decided to think about catching up with technology I almost felt like it was too late.

So, yes. The fact that a year ago I didn’t have a blog, a website, two published books, and new friends/fans, IS HUGE to me. (I still don’t have a cell phone, but we won’t go there.)  And so before I run headlong into the new year with A PLAN, I humbly and gratefully acknowledge the little dent I’ve made in the universe this year.

I am grateful.

Welcome, 2013, treat us kindly.

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